How do I explain this to my daughters?

Here's a fantastic (if long) comment from Metafilter about personal safety and the experience of being a woman. What do I know, but it feels very real. The question is, how do I prepare my pre-teen daughters to handle all of this, to remain safe without living in fear?

Schrodinger's Rapist

Get past the shocking title, because this essay is a great reminder for guys on what a woman is thinking when you approach her, as a stranger, in public. Curious what you think, Olga.

My only quibble is when she says (to guys): "Is preventing violent assault or murder part of your daily routine, rather than merely something you do when you venture into war zones? " She's assuming the answer is no, but she's wrong, especially for younger guys.

In the same way that it's hard for men to realize how much women (need to) worry about sexual attack, I think many women don't realize how much guys (esp. 18-30) are at risk of physical violence in day to day life. For no other reason than, some guy is trying to show how how tough he is. The recent beating death of that guy in Chicago was a wakeup call, but really not that surprising to me. It just happened to be videotaped.

Distraction!

Although I was too distracted by that photo to clearly read Mark's post the first few times around, I finally tore my femalegaze away from that fine naked torso to take in the content of his post.

Okay, I admit it: objectification happens to and by us all. I am not driven to attack anyone sexually because I've seen some attractive photographs. And given that, in our society, we are surrounded by pictures of attractive people on various media and most people do not rape other people, there may be no causal relationship between the two events.

Yet I find, even when I intellectually admit that Mark's similes may be true...

(See's Truffles are to Kittens w/cancer
as Objectification is to Rape)

...in my gut, I cling to the connection. I think it's because of how I feel when I see attractive or objectifying photos of women: conflicted. I admire these women for their great looks and their dedication to looking great, yet think less of them for spending so much time on their looks. I might like the clothing, but dislike that I can't afford these outfits; likewise with locations, fabulous places I'm unable to visit.

These photos bring out the worst in me, my insecurities, pettiness, envy. I don't like this mind trip that's been inflicted upon me (I never turn on the television but I can't hardly avoid the supermarket magazine racks). Daily, I am bombarded by images of "beautiful" women. I won't go as far as to say, "it's like rape", but there's a quality of violation. My day is altered by the insertion of celebrated, mass-distributed images that I wish I didn't have to see.

The other horrific part is that, if I give up the notion that objectification leads to abuse, then I'm left with the excuse, "it's human nature." That's too scary. I believe there are actions we can take to deter rape.