The Weight of Patriarchy

Aside from "a patriarchal system of society or government," Patriarchy, according to the Oxford dictionary, means "rule by the eldest male of a family of a family; a family, tribe, or community so organized." Not only sexism but ageism too!

The word "patriarchy" is not entirely worthless ~ it means a great deal to a lot of people. It's a loaded word, and I appreciate your list of connotations often conjured up by the word, but find them a bit extreme. I don't think of patriarchy in such sinister, conspiratorial terms.

I believe we should figure out how to discuss "patriarchy" in a way that doesn't completely dismiss its value (as a word or as a concept), that opens up rather than shuts down the conversation.

The question for me is, is there one united force that's to blame for all the inequities? Or are there many sources, influences and factors, which when combined create one overall event: the oppression of women (and the underestimation of men).

Can "patriarchy" simply be a word that describes these events as one phenomenon, owing to the perception that the people who "benefit" most from its existence are male?

And in any case, is patriarchy (or whatever word we use to describe the whole phenomenon of oppression & underestimation) simply powerful because it is the status quo? Not because there's a male mafia in control, but because we've grown accustomed to it, because we somehow nurture its existence?

I can already see , we also need to define oppression. What are these gender-based events we're talking about? What are the inequities exactly? Men holding the door open for women? Women taking men's surnames when they get married? Girls not doing well in math once they reach high school? Porn?